Definitely
by autumn midnights
Summary: <html><head></head>'"Want to grab seats together?" Parvati smiles. "Definitely."' And that's how it all begins. A different, although technically canon-compliant, take on Lavender's years at Hogwarts. Femslash. Rated T for language.</html>


_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter._

_Author's Note: Written for the fabulous Cheeky Slytherin Lass, courtesy of the Gift-Giving Extravaganza 2014. Sorry for the lateness, and I hope you enjoy!_

_I've written LavenderParvati before, but I lovelovelove this new headcanon for them. (And now I want to write fics for Lana and Marcy. Oops.) _

* * *

><p>Lavender looks around the crowd of students piling onto the Hogwarts Express. It's loud and busy, and everybody seems to be so much bigger than she is, and frankly, it's terrifying. She clutches the handle of her suitcase, waiting for the crowd to recede a bit so she can get on, when a pretty Indian girl bumps into her.<p>

"Sorry," Lavender says reflexively. The girl turns, smiling at her.

"My fault," she says. "I'm Parvati, by the way. Are you a first year too?"

Lavender nods. "I'm Lavender," she says, and takes a deep breath. "Want to grab seats together?"

Parvati smiles. "Definitely."

o0o0o0o

"I can't wait to go to Hogsmeade," Lavender says on the night before their first trip. The trips to the local Wizarding village are something she's been anticipating since the very beginning of her time at Hogwarts. Getting to go to a town and shop and explore without a chaperone is monumental to a thirteen-year-old, and the excitement is keeping her awake.

"Same here," Parvati says. She sounds as awake as Lavender feels. "And eventually, we'll find dates to Hogsmeade. We could double-date!" She sounds excited, and Lavender feels a slight twinge of jealousy that she doesn't totally want to explain to herself. Sure, dating sounds fun, and Lavender can name a few boys she wouldn't mind going out with, but wouldn't it be more fun if it were just her and Parvati?

o0o0o0o

"Oi, Lavender!" Seamus says across the Gryffindor table one morning. They're some of the last students in the Great Hall. Lavender has spent enough of the morning talking that she hadn't eaten properly, and Seamus seems to have slept late, if his still-messy hair and disheveled uniform is any indication. Lavender's dimly aware she is either going to be late to her first class or just make it in time, but it's not a pressing concern. She gets in trouble for talking in class once in a while, but she's not a particularly rebellious student - being late this one time won't be that much of a big deal.

"Yeah?" Lavender says, looking over at Seamus.

"You have a date to the Yule Ball yet?"

She shakes her head. A brief image of Parvati flashes across her mind, but she pushes it down. She and Parvati are best friends - nothing more. Surely she's only thinking about how much fun it would be to double-date with Parvati, or something like that.

"You wanna go together?" Seamus asks, and for a moment Lavender hesitates, and then she nods.

"Sounds like fun," she says, and she forces a smile.

Seamus is a nice friend, and he's cute, but there's just something missing.

_He's not Parvati, _a small part of her whispers, and she does her best to ignore it.

o0o0o0o

"Is it true Umbridge caught you in an abandoned classroom with another girl?" Lavender looks up at the seventh-year Slytherin, Lana something-or-other. She's a pretty girl - dark reddish hair, tanned, fit.

Lana narrows her eyes at Lavender. "If you're just going to start calling me names like all of those other bitches, you can get the hell away from me right now. I swear to Merlin I'll hex the next person who calls me a -"

"No," Lavender says hastily, holding her hands up. "It's not like that at all. I - I heard about you and that girl Marcy getting detention with Umbridge for, er, doing it in a classroom, and I just -" She's sure that she's bright red at this point. It's taken all of her Gryffindor nerve to even approach Lana, much less ask her about this. "I think I fancy both girls and blokes," she says in a rush. "And I don't know what to do - nobody even talks about that sort of thing. My parents would never have that sort of conversation with me, and I don't know who to talk to."

The words come out quickly, and she's aware that she probably sounds half-incoherent. Lana seems to understand at least part of what she's saying, however - her expression changes from pissed off to understanding. "Yeah," Lana says. "I know exactly what you mean. I'm bisexual too. People suck. People are going to say a lot of shitty things. Believe me." She runs a hand through her hair. "There's nothing wrong with you, though. You're not confused or screwed up or indecisive. It is perfectly fine to like people from more than one gender." Her voice gains a bit of a hard edge, and she looks away from Lavender. "Merlin knows I wish somebody had told me that when I was younger. Look, I gotta get to class."

"Can I -" Lavender takes a deep breath. "Can I talk to you again about this stuff?"

Lana turns back, and she smiles a bit. "Yeah," she says. "Absolutely."

o0o0o0o

Lavender is determined not to dwell on Parvati.

It's the summer between fifth and sixth year, and she's made up her mind. She's had feelings for her best friend for longer than she cared to admit, and although she's started to come to terms with not being straight, she doesn't want to be in love with Parvati. That's just not possible - not healthy. She's firmly convinced that there's no way Parvati has any feelings for her. Parvati has never said anything even remotely in the area of fancying girls, much less fancying Lavender. It's not possible. She needs to get over it - and fast.

She writes Lana almost all summer long. She never expected to be this friendly with a Slytherin, but Lana is an excellent friend - she's sarcastic and blunt and clever, but even more than that, she _gets _it. Lavender can be open with her, and it's such a wonderfully freeing feeling. Lana's honest, too - she talks about her continued relationship with Marcy, and the occasional struggles they face.

Sometimes, Lavender thinks it may just be the best summer of her life.

Lana's the one who tells her she should try and move on from Parvati. _I know it's basically impossible to control who you fall in love with, _Lana writes, _but just date around. Have fun. Try to get this girl out of your mind for a little while. I'm not saying you should give up on her entirely. Just realize that there's other people out there, too. _

And at the end of the summer, Lavender sees Ron Weasley in the Weasley twins' new joke shop - and he's grown a bit, filled out a little more, and she realizes that he's not bad to look at either.

She smiles at him, and he smiles back, and she decides to take Lana's advice.

o0o0o0o

Sixth year is embarrassing as hell.

Her interest in Ron started out as only taking Lana's advice, but she finds herself developing a massive crush on him. It's bloody embarrassing, really, but she can't help it. It's different than her love for Parvati. Her love for Parvati is deep. She's always comfortable around Parvati - even just being near her makes Lavender so stupidly happy, and she wants nothing more than to see Parvati equally happy. Her crush on Ron is different - all giggles and flirty winks and stolen kisses, breathless moments of adolescence. She knows it won't be forever. Hell, she can't see herself dating him for a couple years, much less marrying him or anything.

But he's fun, and really, that's all Lavender wants right now. Fun takes her mind off of her unrequited love for her best friend. Fun takes her mind away from all the awful comments she hears about boys who kiss boys and girls who kiss girls. Fun is, well, _fun._

o0o0o0o

Everything hurts.

Lavender slowly opens her eyes. Parvati and Fay Dunbar, the only two girls left in the Gryffindor seventh-year girls' dormitory, are both hovering over her. Fay's the girl who's been taking care of all the Gryffindors who get detention, since the Carrows have forbidden Madam Pomfrey to heal non-life-threatening detention-related injuries. She's been brewing batches of Pain-killing Potion in her spare time. Lavender looks over at Fay.

"Please tell me you can give me something," she croaks out. Bloody awful Carrows and their freaking torture curses. They're going to get what's coming to them one of these days, and Lavender can only hope she's right up front when it happens.

Fay nods. "I needed you to wake up first," she says. "I didn't notice any injuries beside the bruising and residual aches from the Cruciatus, but I needed to ask you if they did anything else that I didn't pick up on." She looks so young and inexperienced in that moment, and Lavender feels sorry for her. Fay's seventeen, and she's trying to be a Healer with no training. She knows it can't be easy.

"Nah," Lavender says in little more than a whisper. "Pretty sure I lost my voice, but they didn't use anything other than the Cruciatus this time."

"All right," Fay says. "I have to run over to Anthony from Ravenclaw, then - my stash of potion has run out, and it'll be twelve hours before the next batch I have brewing is ready. Parvati, just keep an eye on Lav for me, please." She nods at them and dashes out, brown ponytail swinging. Lavender watches her go, wishing she would hurry up - she's desperate for something to take the pain away.

"Merlin, Lavender," Parvati says. "I was so worried. Seamus and Neville had to bring you up from the dungeon - you were out cold. I was afraid -" She looks away, apparently unable to finish her sentence. After a moment, she speaks again, her voice quiet. "I can't imagine losing you."

Lavender feels brave enough to slip her hand into Parvati's. Parvati's hand is nice and warm, a little smaller than hers. They fit perfectly together. "I couldn't imagine losing you either," she murmurs.

"Don't make me go through this again," Parvati says. "Please just stay safe. I don't want to see you hurt like this." Her eyes are watering - she almost looks like she's about to cry. "Damn it, I'm going to kill those Carrows for doing this to you." Now a tear actually does slip from her eye, rolling down her cheek. She doesn't make an effort to wipe it away.

"Wait for me to get better first," Lavender says. "Then I can help."

Parvati chuckles slightly, finally wiping the tear from her cheek. She leans down, pressing her lips against Lavender's cheek for a little longer than platonic-ness would allow. "I love you, Lavender," she whispers. "And it's probably really not the right time to do this, but all of us are in danger every second of every day. I'm terrified that one day, you won't return from detention. Hell, I'm scared that one day, I won't return from detention. And I guess I just...I needed to put this out there, because I don't want to die - or watch you die - without telling you how I feel. I...I'm in love with you. I know this'll make things awkward, but I just hope you'll still be my friend, at least. I don't expect you to -"

"You bloody fool," Lavender says, smiling a bit, even through her pain. "I love you too. I have for a while. I was just too scared to admit it."

Parvati slides on top of the covers, lying on the bed, her head resting next to Lavender's. "Is this okay?" asks Parvati, her voice quiet.

Lavender moves a bit closer to Parvati, so that there's very little space between them, and she smiles. "Definitely."

War is raging on around them, and Hogwarts has turned into hell, but for a moment Lavender can pretend that everything is perfect.


End file.
